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Transcending Depression on Valentine’s Day

Call it maturity but Valentine’s Day doesn’t have the same hold over me that it did ten years ago. Was it really ten years ago that we dressed in all black, paraded around campus behind sunglasses and listened to the most pathetic love songs known to mankind? I still feel some type of way when I hear Break Up to Make Up by The Stylistics. Did we really think back then that being single at 18 was the worst pain we’d ever endure? The rude awakenings that followed on subsequent Valentine’s Days were real tragedies completely deserving of an all black attire and runny mascara.

But not today.

I almost forgot about the holiday. Between discovering that someone smashed in the back window of my car to steal my GPS and dealing with the everyday annoyances of life, like staying on hold for over 65 minute to finalize health insurance adjustments there hasn’t been all that much time to dwell on the fact that this is yet another February 14th without a special someone. I’ve actually decided not to take up my usual route and hate all things Valentine’s Day. No man bashing. No crazy Valentine’s Day is just a commercialization of love rhetoric. No envy brewing underground somewhere near by heart for all the couples out there who are in love. No wisecrack comments about how they won’t even be together next year this time.

Life is good. So good that I have transcended the notion that I need to feel depressed and lonely on Valentine’s Day. True, I don’t have a special someone to share my life with but I share my life with so many incredible people. It hardly feels like a loss when I don’t feel anyone missing. I’m so happy (despite the fact someone stole my GPS) that I might just head over to Target and buy myself a box of chocolates. Better yet, since I’m not in the mood for chocolate but in need of a pick-me-up, maybe I’ll look for a new sweater. A black red sweater.

From the first day in February, my three college roommates and I have celebrated our friendship with daily phone calls, text messages, email exchanges, and photo highlights from the first decade of our friendship. I’m in charge of the Black History Month Facts.   🙂 Which means that first thing in the morning I’m greeted with love in my inbox. At least half a dozen nights I either laughed so hard there were tears streaming down my face or I had to force myself to stop because my stomach hurt so much. Not all the exchanges are funny or memories from our past. Some of them remind me of who I am, who we are, and the kind of love we deserve from future life partners. For what it’s worth, I’d probably spend the entire day brooding in my own self-pity if they weren’t the kinds of friends who can find the humor in just about everything. And I do mean just about everything.

So Happy Valentine’s Day out there to anyone in need of a hug and some love today. If you’re with your sweetheart tonight, I wish you good luck and a bit of advice: keep swimming. If you’re looking for your sweetheart tonight…well, my heart goes out to you. It’s rough out there but keep ya head up. The best part of Valentine’s Day is that we take the time to celebrate the love that we do have in our lives, which doesn’t leave time to lament the love who has yet to come.  And regardless of whether you’re single, dating, in a serious relationship, or married, make sure you call/text/facebook/email/comment*/tweet/kiss/hug everyone whose name you’ve written on your heart. Men, as President Obama said this morning, “Go Big.” That means flowers, chocolates, dinner, and diamonds. And don’t forget about mom!

*You might also feel compelled to share a little comment love here today. I’m totally fine with that.


About Bella

I’m an (almost) 30-something free-lance writer, blogger, genealogist, and friend. Yep. If you pay me, I’ll be your friend. Initial fees are subject to negotiation. You can also contact me about product reviews and ad space. Everything is for sale around here. I make my home in Boston with my roommate, Jane Doe; my 12 year old dog, Chewy; and Jane’s feral cat, Felix. I’m addicted to reading Mormon mommy blogs, Huffington Post, Jezebel, and Facebook status updates.


One thought on “Transcending Depression on Valentine’s Day

  1. Aww, this was such a sweet post. I love the shot-out to your three bffs from college and also the memories regarding the all-black valentine’s day. Still smh at that one. Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Posted by cts | February 14, 2012, 9:48 pm

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